Recently Rated Movies: Catching Up with Christopher Lee (the actor, not my brother…) Pt. 5

Glorious 39 (2009)

Dir: Stephen Poliakoff

TC4P Rating: 6

Without doing much in the way of research, I don't know how far Britain's pro-appeasement movement went to protect their position during the rise of Nazism in Europe, but murdering opposing Parliament members and making them to appear suicides? I suppose if the movement were actually a front to eventually allow Hitler to have his way, then sure, I'd buy it. I'm not sure if that is what Glorious 39 is selling, as the majority of pro-appeasement figures seem to believe, like PM Neville Chamberlain, that such an approach is the only way to keep the Nazis from running roughshod over England. It doesn't seem like the sort of thing to call for the very noticeable and mysterious deaths of leading citizens.

Glorious 39 is about a true loss of innocence, as the idyllic country life of its lead character Anne (known as Glorious to her family, and played appealingly by Romola Garai) comes crashing down when she discovers pro-appeasement 78 rpm recordings stored in her family's estate. Is Anne just paranoid? Is she losing her mind? Does she simply need a lie down? All of this is suggested to Anne, and she will learn quickly that no one is to be trusted in her family and friends. 

The film is told in flashback through a bookend apparatus where we meet two of the family members played in old age by Christopher Lee and Corin Redgrave. The story they unfold reveals family skeletons long dormant since the lead character's disappearance in 1939. I like some of the details, like the "fat men dancing," revealed in spending time with what appears to be a happy family situation. There is a remarkable section where one begins to see the thin line that rests between order and chaos in the era, where the slightest changes can erode personal freedoms and leave their fates to history. Rest assured, I doubt my next visit to the veterinarian will happen without flashing back on the horrific chain of events that occur when Anne is made by her father to take her family's cats in to be euthanized (as is, according to the film, the fashion amongst the upper crust during that time of uncertainty).

It's a solid effort, though a bit dull at times, and easily goes on about twenty minutes longer than it needs to be. For those for whom all-star casts are a nod of quality, the film is top-loaded with British favorites: Bill Nighy, Julie Christie, Jenny Agutter, Jeremy Northam, a young Eddie Redmayne, an even younger Juno Temple, Charlie Cox (the current Daredevil), Hugh Bonneville, and the Tenth Doctor himself, David Tennant in a small but important role. Now, if only Tennant had dropped into the film in his legendary Tardis, Glorious 39 might be a far more exciting picture. Then I wouldn't have worried about historical accuracy.

Meatcleaver Massacre (1977) [aka The Hollywood Meatcleaver Massacre]

Dir: Evan Lee

TC4P Rating: 2

Christopher Lee's career definitely seems to speak of poor management, at least for large portions of it. For every big role in a major film or getting some of that sweet franchise cash, there seem to be five or six projects where he surely must not have either cared about the results or was duped into appearing in it. In Meatcleaver Massacre, the rumor is that he was told he was recording the narrative introduction and epilogue for one project, which was then implanted onto this supernatural, would-be thriller. His odd and, frankly, not particularly adept narration has not the slightest thing to do with the film at hand, but it does add a touch of Ed Woodiness to the finished product.

And by Ed Woodiness, I mean possible, actual Edward D. Wood, Jr. While rumors all over the internet about his involvement have ranged from appearing in the film (he is in the credits on IMDb in a bit part, but it could be just another Ed Wood) to writing the script to directing it under a pseudonym, according to Andrew Rausch's book Trash Cinema: A Celebration of Overlooked Masterpieces, a source from the set says that the actual Wood not only appeared in it along with other crew members, but also stepped in to direct a handful of scenes. Regardless of his input or even existence on the set, this is an appropriately shabby affair fit to rest alongside much of his oeuvre. The filmmakers were at least channeling his abilities when they threw this decrepit pool of cess together.

While there is the massacre of a family early in the film that sets up the rest of this mess, there is not a meat cleaver to be found (the killers, or at least a couple of them, only use butcher knives). The killers are supposed to be college students, but appear to be in their late thirties, and there is a serious hippie look to them, probably playing off the Manson vibe so prevalent in '70s films. (The film has a 1977 copyright, but was likely filmed several years earlier.) The father of the family, a professor, left in a coma in the hospital, somehow uses supernatural powers to get his bloody revenge on the killers, one by one.

Because the print is in such terrible shape, this film is not only a labor to watch all the way through but to even look at for five minutes. It's almost like watching a feature shot on PixelVision, except this film has some of the most nauseating color I have seen. (Fisher-Price's wonderful PixelVision camcorder only shot in black and white.) 

In fact, from start to finish, this film gave me an uneasy feeling, and I did suffer a huge headache while watching it. Perhaps it was the film or just my general health. Supposedly, the producers came up with the title Meatcleaver Massacre as a surefire way to grab an audience. I guess Out of Focus, Garishly Colored Cinematography Massacre was not as much of a grabber, but it may have been more truthful.

Triage (2009)

Dir: Danis Tanovic

TC4P Rating: 6

Apart from surviving employment with Cal South for a decade, I cannot speak with surety about post-traumatic stress disorder. And while I just made a joke involving it (but not about it), I don't find PTSD a laughing matter. Far too many people are affected by it, not just those returning from combat situations (PTSD is not exclusive to soldiers), but also their families, friends, co-workers, neighbors... anyone who knows someone that has it can also suffer the repercussions of the disorder.

To be sure, Triage doesn't play anything for laughs. It may be one of the more dour films I have seen in recent years, making Melancholia seem like a joyride. (Well, for me, Melancholia was a joyride, my favorite film of 2011.) Colin Farrell's character in Triage is a war photographer who returns from a combat zone in the Middle East with a big secret. Where is his best friend David, a fellow photog and expectant father who accompanied him to the region? Why have Farrell's emotions seemed to shut down since his return and why is he reluctant to talk about his war experiences?

Farrell is solid, but even better are Paz Vega as his wife and Kelly Reilly as his best friend's pregnant spouse. And this may be one of the best latter-day, non-Tolkien Christopher Lee performances, as he essays the role of Vega's grandfather, a therapist who at one time controversially counseled some of Franco's war criminals from the Spanish Civil War. Vega's character continues to take issue with her grandfather on the subject, but knows that he may be the key to unlocking the mystery in Farrell's head. It was an angle I was not expecting while watching Triage, and I found the film all the more interesting for its inclusion.

It's worth a look to anyone interested in the subject, though I feel, despite the relatively short length, Triage suffers a bit from pacing issues. I have been remiss in watching Bosnian director Danis Tanović's Oscar-winning feature, No Man's Land, having started it thrice and never getting more than a few minutes into it. (This was due to a series of interruptions in my life, not because of the movie itself.) Given my look at Triage, I definitely need to get back around to watching No Man's Land. 

Recently Rated Movies: Catching Up with Christopher Lee (the actor, not my brother…) Pt. 2

Of the Christopher Lee films I have seen to this point, the one area in which I hardly need delve are his most famous and popular roles. It has been decades since I first saw his Hammer Draculas and his turn as Frankenstein’s Monster, his villainous appearances in Bond and Three Musketeers films, and his Fu Manchu series countless times, and every role is etched in my memory. His later appearances in major modern epic series (LOTR, Star Wars) are also to be counted in this group, even if I hold little fondness for the last three Star Wars entries. I have also seen many of his supporting roles in films such as Serial (1980, of which I am still fond), a variety of turns alongside his old chum Peter Cushing in non-Hammer horror flicks, and his odd cameo in The Magic Christian (as a vampire waiter on an ocean liner). 

The point is that I am already well-versed in his major roles. In reviewing his oeuvre over the past couple of weeks and recalling his movies that I have actually seen to this point, there have been few thus far (except for some of the horror ones and The Magic Christian, which is certainly memorable but actually not very good) that I would describe as resting near even the lower rungs of the higher echelon of filmmaking.

But, as I make my way through his unseen flicks, I am discovering that there are plenty of near misses. As I recounted the other day, Hannie Caulder turned out to be a pretty good revenge western, if not great. Then I ran into three films which are ever so close to being good solid films, but just narrowly miss the mark for me. I am fairly certain that if I saw any of these three as a teenager or young adult, they would probably rank higher up in my memory, but I only just saw them in the past week. All three warrant follow-up viewings, and I will leave it to those moments to determine whether they move up or down in my rankings. So while I currently have assigned all three my middle of the road “5” rating, they were all worthy of my time and eventual, almost assured revisitation.

The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (1967) [aka The Snake Pit and the Pendulum; Torture Chamber; Castle of the Walking Dead; Blood of the Virgins; The Blood Demon; and many, many more…]

Dir: Harald Reinl

TC4P Rating: 5

One of the first hurdles for any horror film is evoking and maintaining a haunting atmosphere. This film has atmosphere in spades, as long as the soundtrack doesn’t emit a single musical note. The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism is set in the same type of fairytale, Germanic burg as many of the more famous Hammer selections like Frankenstein Created Woman, and like those films, the fairytale backdrop is betrayed by a lurid series of events that lead to even more chaos. 

Christopher Lee plays Count Regula (which is what I would think Dracula would be if he devoured more fiber), and he is drawn and quartered in the beginning of the film for draining the blood from twelve virgins to give him immortality. (He fails because he had not gotten to the 13th victim.) He naturally swears vengeance before his body parts are ripped asunder, and sure enough, decades later, the script gives him the chance. Based partly on Poe’s The Pit and the Pendulum (at least, the sections involving both a pit and a pendulum), Torture Chamber has a wonderfully creepy middle section where the protagonists (including post-Weissmuller Tarzan, Lex Barker) travel through a dark forest with bodies and limbs hanging from the trees all around them. All of the later scenes of Lee torturing his foes are also memorably committed to film, and I certainly enjoyed how much fun the film seemed to be having with its absolute depravity. 

In fact, my one and only real gripe with the film is the soundtrack, which for much of the running time seems too comic and buoyant for the storyline. However, it does have moments where it matches appropriately, so my initial statement regarding the emittance of a single note was merely to provoke. In fact, I quite enjoy the score all the way through, even the absurd parts. I just feel that at certain moments in the film, the score doesn't seem to belong. Overall, though, this is a fine, new addition to my regular Halloween viewing list, goofy and inconsistent music regardless. 

The Bloody Judge (1970) [aka Night of the Blood Monster; Trial of the Witches; and many more...]

Dir: Jesús Franco

TC4P Rating: 5

I not only think that the British tradition of having wigs lodged atop the heads of their judges and lawyers is quaint and rather silly in these modern times (I will put on the brakes before calling it stupid, but.. yeah...), the thought of them actually makes me a bit physically ill. Much in the way that I used to be so repelled by early ‘70s fashion in films (even though I grew up in that time) that I couldn’t watch certain films without a feeling of nauseousness, the courtroom attire of England does the same thing to me when I see it in a movie or on TV. I even want to wretch at the very thought of it, and I really don’t know why. Which is precisely the reason I have always put off viewing The Bloody Judge for eons. Almost always available for me to view, I have never been able to get past the image of Christopher Lee topped off with one of those ridiculous wigs on his noggin, no matter how enjoyably maniacal he was likely to behave in the film.

Well, consider me wrong. I should have watched The Bloody Judge a long time ago. Not that it is any great shakes as a “normal" film, but as a gonzo piece of shock horror, this is a pretty lowdown and dirty but gorgeously shot flick with some nasty torture scenes and bountiful nudity throughout. What you don’t get is the loopiness and lack of narrative drive inherent in many of director Jesús “Jess" Franco’s soft-core “masterpieces” (I am rather fond of some of those loopier films, especially Vampyros Lesbos). 

But what you do get from the other Franco films is the lovely Maria Rohm, who also co-starred with Christopher Lee in other Franco epics, including Count Dracula (1970) and The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968), as well as in several films directed by Jeremy Summers. It is no coincidence that the producer of all of these films, including The Bloody Judge, is her husband, the notorious Harry Alan Towers. Rohm certainly adds sensuality to a film that might otherwise just be unrelentingly grim. (This is my subtle way of saying she gets naked a lot and it distracts you happily from the torture bits.) Of course, I am joking… she doesn’t distract from the torture bits at all, since her biggest scene in the film is when she is locked in a cage and forced to lick the blood from a bound torture victim. I cringe in fear for any perv who actually gets his jollies from such a portrayal, but I will admit that the scene does add to the creeping effectiveness and overall griminess of the film.

Lee himself is solid as usual as the lead character, only loosely based on the real 17th century judge, George Jeffreys, who bullied his way through defendants, attorneys, and juries alike, and in this film’s version of the events surrounding the Bloody Assizes, dispatches accused witches to their doom without remorse. Of course, Jeffreys begins to grow worrisome over the chaos ensuing from his brutal courtroom tactics, and he begins to have nightmares of torture. That he will undoubtedly get his comeuppance is part of the fun of watching Lee in such a villainous role. 

It all depends on one's tolerance of tooth-yanking, hand-spiking, racking, digit-chopping, and beheadings, Don’t go looking for historical accuracy and try looking instead for pure psychotronic thrills, and you will definitely get something out of this.

Crypt of the Vampire (1964) [La cripta e l'incubo aka Terror in the Crypt; Crypt of Horror]

Dir: Camillo Mastrocinque

TC4P Rating: 5

If you have seen and loved Roger Vadim's Blood and Roses (1960) as I have and do, then this Spanish-Italian version of Sheridan Le Fanu's novella, Carmilla will likely pale in comparison to the more famous earlier film. But it is a worthwhile rendering of its own, even if most character names have been changed, some bad dubbing is to be endured, and the director more than once betrays his obvious influencing by Mario Bava (never a bad thing).

Christopher Lee gets a heroic role this time, albeit a tortured one, and as in villainous roles, he has enough talent and range to pull the part off just fine. As Count Karnstein, he has to do battle against the light lesbian leanings of a mysterious vampire who is leaving drained bodies in her wake. It could be his daughter, who may be the reincarnation of an ancestor rumored to have committed such crimes, or it could be her recent companion, who has instilled herself into the daily life of the castle. The black and white cinematography is routinely effective if not spectacular, the sets and darkness of the castle are nicely rendered, and the heavy breathing, haunted ladies look divine onscreen.

This is the one of the three of these films where I am closest to giving it a higher rating, if only because it is the least gratuitous of the trio. This is likely due to it coming from a less permissive time in cinema (and just a handful of years earlier), so it relies more on subtlety and suggestion. However, there is a grandly gruesome sequence involving a dog tugging on the foot of a hanged peddler with his hand severed. Yes, it is derivative of Bava, but when a witch is seen using that hand as a candelabra in the very next scene while she invokes a spell, then you will know the film is a keeper.

[Postscript: I have since watched both Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism and Crypt of the Vampire again, and while I am keeping Torture Chamber's rating at "5," I have shifted Crypt up to a "6," which is my general rating for "good."]

Rixflix A to Z: Absolute Beginners (1986)

Director: Julien Temple

Orion, 1:47, color
Crew Notables: Colin MacInnes (novel), Gil Evans (score)Cast Notables: Eddie O'Connell, Patsy Kensit, David Bowie, Ray Davies, James Fox, Eve Ferret, Anita Morris, Lionel Blair, Steven Berkoff, Mandy Rice-Davies, Sade Adu, Slim Gaillard, Robbie Coltrane, Bruce Payne, Edward Tudor-Pole
Cinema 4 Rating: 6/9

When this movie came out in 1986, I saw it four times. Four. Dragged friends to it, went by myself, took a date to it. Four times. Why? I had read the excellent novel a couple of years before, but that wasn't the reason. I told myself that it was the chance to see David Bowie and Ray Davies singing and, yes, in Bowie's case, tap-dancing on the big screen. But, no, that wasn't the reason. I was in immediate head over heels love with Crepe Suzette. Or was it Patsy Kensit? No matter; it turns out, neither girl, either the character of Suzette, or the real-life actress/singer Kensit, were my type nor really worth the attention. But at that time, I didn't care. And in truth, I was in love with the whole glorious mess that was Absolute Beginners, from its Touch of Evil-style knockout of an opening shot (not really the opening shot, but close enough...) to Davies' music-hall stylings, and yes, to the Bowie production number, which seems Sinatra/Kelly old school cool, but is still coldly weird in the signature Bowie form.

In 1986, I loved every bit of it, even when telling myself privately that "that bit didn't work" or "that scene bothers me". Twenty years down the road, I will freely admit to the parts that I believe drag it down, and will also admit that I don't enjoy it half as much as I once did. More than ever, Kensit seems to barely inhabit her role, or my heart, for that matter -- she really wasn't my type at all, and while I can forgive my heart or dick for leading me wrong, I can't forgive the film for it. The problem is that all of this hubbub in the story develops because of the lead character's love for this girl, but she is hardly worth it. The film separates the pair, but when he goes to save her from the trouble she and fate have gotten her into, she really hasn't done anything to earn this affection and devotion. To a certain extent, with its cut-and-paste musical references and wayward emotions, I get the feeling that this film was the 1980s version of Moulin Rouge, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Baz Luhrmann was a big fan of it.

And the political content in the film, that of the Notting Hill racial riots in the late 50's, seems to take the film far, far from the young teenage rumble that the film plays out for the first hour plus of its running time. Since this material is part of the book, it should be in the film, but as the film starts off as a grand Julian Temple musical experiment, it jettisons this appealing vision just after Sade's excellent Killer Blow sequence, and the last half hour descends into the quite jarring, "White City Riots" material, which is punctuated jerkily with West Side Story-style dance violence, which simultaneously seems out of place and old hat.

It is the remainder of the film: the solid musical sequences, and the youthful drive of the "teenaged" cast that gives Absolute Beginners what joy it has, which is still considerable, despite its demerits as either successful musical or drama. The score by the great Gil Evans is as sharp as Bowie's suit, and it was through this film that I developed a love for the music of Slim Gaillard, the man who invented the Flat-foot Floogie (with the Floy-Floy). Even after twenty years, the film is still enjoyable enough for me to still consider Selling Out to its vision. If it only had a clear idea of what its own vision really was...