Attack of the Seriously Slutty Princesses: The Disney Halloween Party 2010

Honestly, for the first hour or so at the Disney Halloween Party at Disneyland Tuesday night, I didn't even really notice the costumes. Sure, I did mention to Jen the astounding amount of younger kids I saw dressed as one of the Super Mario Bros. (and even at least four people dressed as mushrooms from the games), and I also pointed out a couple of truly cool costumes here and there. But in noticing the usual feast/horror for the eyes that comes with younger women dressed, body-appropriate or otherwise (and it is more than often that "otherwise," hence the horror side of the equation) in too tight or absolutely revealing Halloween costumes of their favorite characters, I was very negligent.

But Jen wasn't (and she didn't believe me that I hadn't noticed, but I indeed hadn't). She was the one quickest to point out (or at least smirk) when some particularly slutty version of Alice in Wonderland or Pocahontas swung into view. It was at the exact moment when I mentioned I hadn't really seen all that much in the way of rampant sluttiness, or at least a handy amount of décolletage, that the gates burst open. As this is not that sort of site, I have nothing in the way of visual proof of the onslaught that then took place over the next three hours, but suffice to say that we had several hours worth of decent chuckles in watching the series of bastardizations of character designs into handy excuses to either increase the population of Orange County or to put you off your food. The best part was a particularly hurried Cinderella who actually began to fall out of her dress. This shocked even the great Carnak...

Jen and I were mainly there for the atmosphere and the fireworks, but there is a note to make regarding the attractions (i.e., the rides, in Disney parlance). The big secret about attending the Disney Halloween Party is that you can pretty much walk on and off even the mega-popular rides like Indiana Jones and Space Mountain because almost every kid in the place is concentrating on standing in line for candy, which frankly, is the opposite way to trick-or-treat. There should be effort put into it. Patrons of the event stand in endless lines throughout the park to receive their treats, and as far as we are concerned, they can have it.

As a result, in the first 75 minutes we were there, we had already ridden Indy, the Haunted Mansion, the Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Space Mountain (the Ghost Galaxy version for Halloween), and this was with a bathroom stop, a soda purchase, and a very relaxed gait, enjoying the  mood of the park. The longest line was Space Mountain, and that was a mere ten minutes, as promised on the gate sign (possibly the first time the wait announcement ever actually matched that which actually occurred on that attraction).

I will say this now, and it will come as a shock to my friends who know how thoroughly I love The Nightmare Before Christmas, but I am tired of the annual reworking of the Haunted Mansion into its holiday form featuring Jack and his pals. The truth is, I wish they would start up the Nightmare version just after Halloween (you know, the way the movie starts), and let us have the real Mansion back for the actual month containing Halloween. It's not that I don't enjoy the Jack house (I actually do love it), but one of my fondest park memories was a full on Halloween midnight ride a few years back, and now I can't get even close to matching that feeling with the outright whimsy of Burton's creations overriding the place.

And the fireworks? A massively cool success... Zero flying through the air behind the castle, animation of a giant Jack Skellington on a balloon hanging over the proceedings, and the discovery of some new aerial tricks in Disney's ever-expanding fireworks bag. I thought there would be more concentration on the Mansion itself, but they managed to work in a lot of more obscure references even with the overall Jack theme. (A side note: it was also neat to see ol' Clara Cluck at the rear of the Halloween Parade. I wondered how many of the guests actually know who she is.) I shot some video of the first couple of minutes of the fireworks, but as it was on my crappy phone, I am not too happy with the results.

But we were quite happy with our evening out at the Disney Halloween Party. The fireworks alone made it worthwhile, and for us, the price wasn't bad (Jen's status at the park got us tix for $35 apiece). And it is truly amazing to ride Indy and Pirates back to back and not run into a single kid or teenager. That alone was a magic trick worthy of the Disney name.


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