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Showing posts from October, 2006

WHAT DO YOU FIND IN THE BOTTOM OF A JACK-O-LANTERN'S LITTER BOX?

So, what exactly is it that I do when I take the day off from work for Halloween? What the hell else?

No, not that... sickos. Nah, I carved my third pumpkin of the last two weeks, baked some pumpkin bread muffins, watched five movies, read some Lovecraft and Poe, checked out a couple of History Channel documentaries on the bloodline of Dracula and the search for fossils that may have inspired the monsters of ancient Greek myths, and cancelled my plans to hit the skeleton rides at Disneyland (there are six of them -- what are they? And California Adventure doesn't count in this...) because my leg pain flared up early this morning. But I just took it as a sign that I should stay home and watch more movies.

[Not that I wanted to ditch everybody at work, especially since we are so busy this week, but... oh, fuck it. I don't give a crap. Every day is "crucial" there, which is the biggest indicator that it is all bullshit -- if you don't give your staff a breather now an…

RRM #31: MASTERS OF HORROR, Pt. 3

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One of the more distinct pleasures for me, horror-wise, in the last few years was the introduction of May into my life. While my friend Egg-or had previously recommended the film to me, as she knows many of my tastes well, it actually took a heap of "c'mon, c'mon" cajoling from my pal Flowers (his surname, not a nickname) to get me to finally take a crack at it. Knowing that I had developed a mild "thing" for Anna Faris, who has a minor but important role in May, Flowers slapped the DVD into my hand one day after work and gave me a look that told me he was pretty sure that I would eat it up, without actually verbalizing such a thought. The aftermath? While I didn't feel that all of the elements in the film worked -- May's conversations with her dolls early on almost me turn the disc off more than once (dolls annoy the hell out of me... not scare me, just annoy me) -- by the time its unexpected finale rolled around, the film stood revealed to me ful…

RRM #30: MASTERS OF HORROR, Pt. 2

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So this is where it happens
The power games and bribes
All lobbying for a piece of ass
of the Stars and Stripes of Corruption - The Dead Kennedys

I would normally save the lefty vitriol for an anti-Bush screed of my own fevered devising, instead of spending it on a followup entry to my survey of the first-season DVDs of the Showtime series Masters of Horror. But, to my great surprise, the series veered into that direction on its own with the fifth story that I encounted, Homecoming, from the oddball master of comedic horror and science fiction, Joe Dante. Bush is indeed the barely mentioned president here and America during the current "Mission Accomplished" War in Iraq is definitely the background, but the rest of the real-life players in the conflict are draped in pseudonyms, most openly, Robert Picardo's supremely slimy turn as Kurt Rand, whose position, actions, look and attitude mark him clearly as Bush's Goebbels-like policy wonk and Deputy Chief of Staff, Karl Rov…

RRM #29: MASTERS OF HORROR, Pt. 1

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I no longer have any premium channels on my cable selection. The reason? Sure, if you get HBO or Showtime, you not only get tons of movies but also some quality original series, but my problem was with paying the extra for these channels, but never having the time to actually watch any of them. I loved Deadwood and The Sopranos, but I came to the realization that it just wasn't worth it, especially when I found out that in order to purchase the DVD sets of these series, I need to put half the gross national product of Luxembourg and sign away my firstborn (no problem there) just to get one season of the shows. (HBO highly overcharges for their series, much like Fox did at first, i.e. the exhorbitant amount you initially had to pay for each season of The X-Files -- my collection pretty much stopped after the second season, and I was a hardcore fan through to the end. Now that they have reduced the prices for the extinct series, I might go back and grab at least the new two or three…

HOLLYWOOD BULL-EVARD (AT LAST...)

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If you paid $21 bucks a shot to sit inside a historical landmark theatre to watch a new 3-D version of a deservedly popular and brilliantly animated classic, one could be led to believe that you were there with a sense of purpose. After all, you have to negotiate traffic in Los Angeles in some form or another to reach the theatre (more on that in a bit), and once you reach Hollywood Boulevard, you have to make your slow, monotonous way down the street to even reach the theatre, let alone find parking. Unless you are a tourist from parts unknown who has just decided to take in a film, chances are that you have arrived at this particular theatre with a sincere desire to see this film in this scenario, especially given the fact that this 3-D re-release is showing nationwide in, at least, hundreds of theatres.

The movie is Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas, originally released in 1993, and yes, we could have seen the new 3-D version at any number of theatres closer to our hom…

I AM BEING "THAT GUY"...

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Yes, I will be wearing the shirt of the movie that I am going to see...

Much like Fallon wearing chainmail to the comic book shop or to The Lord of the Rings or, hell, to the grocery store or the Port-O-San, I am geeking out this afternoon. As the final link in my annual birthday-chain, which causes my once wholly unmemorable date of birth (now made famous by some "terrorist attack" that made a couple of buildings disappear -- perhaps you have heard of this...) to be extended to the point where my last present plays out, I will be attending a showing of the new 3-D version of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas this afternoon. The place will be the famous El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood, and Jen and I will be making the drive to L.A. in about an hour of so to get our "reserved" seats for the event. We are also planning to take in some of that special Hollywood atmosphere -- you know, heroin addicts and tranny hobags. Actually, except for attending a show…

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #28: GOJIRA

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True to form, I am spending every spare moment (which would be those where I am either not with Jen or engaging in writing projects) making my way through a monstrous stack of DVDs and an equally impressive lineup of flicks on my DVR. Many of these saved films came from a surprising source: The Sundance Channel, where a late night program of Japanese, Korean and Hong Kong horror movies, titled in typical "hip" marketing style as Asia Extreme, has provided me with a most interesting though slightly disturbing look into another world. My discovery of the show is mere timely fortuitousness; I can get any of these movies easily enough through Netflix, but since I am only registered to rent four titles at once, this means it takes a bit to get near certain titles on my list. The Korean titles are definitely the ones with which I am having the most trouble philosophically, particularly where the rights of prostitutes and the abandonment of teenage daughters who stumble into prosti…

Sharks Gotta Swim, and I Gotta Blog...

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Hey! Here's a great idea! Get your health back and then wear yourself back down by creating so many blogs that you couldn't possible keep them current!
Not convinced sufficiently that I actually need any sleep or rest, what do I decide to do once I begin writing again regularly? I started a third blog! The trick this time, though, will be to not post on them every single day, which was the case on the still-under-personal-suspension Cinema 4 Cel Bloc. (Really, the main problem there was not the frequency, but the insane lengths of certain posts. It will return, though, in some form in the future, possibly a weekly.) This new blog is not meant to be a daily; again, weekly posting is more the idea, and the emphasis is on the specific characteristics of a certain type of movie:
THE SHARK FILM OFFICE has its hook set squarely for sharks of all sizes, though the first entry is for a tidbit that most fishermen would have thrown back. But not this hardy veteran of the waves! No... I r…

THE LIST ON THE SIDEBAR

So, I hop onto Blogger on Sunday morning, and I get this invite to jump my blog over to Blogger Beta, a new test version of the software that comes fortified with all manner of bells and whistles and 7 essential vitamins and minerals. Since I haven't had any cereal yet that morning, I flung myself at the opportunity, mainly out of sheer ennui and the promising prospect of being able to easier maintain the sidebar lists and fonts and colors.

Of course, I could easily do all this in HTML, but that would mean "work", i.e. tediousness and mucho copying and pasting of code. As a result, I had put off anything along the lines of a list of favorite movies, and had settled lazily for the minute amount of space that the Blogger profile allows you for maintaining such a list. My profile list tended to cut off after about movie #18, no matter how much I cut out articles and punctuation... infuriating it was, indeed.

But, no longer! At last, I can easily put up a list of my favorite o…

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #27

Too much time has passed, too many movies have piled up, and I'm too far behind to carry forward as I had planned originally. The Texas story, the subsequent depression, the illness and the injury will have to be put aside as I am longing to get back where I was; I fear that if I linger any longer than this paragraph and the next on such matters, then I will get stuck in that state interminably.

So, it is onward and upward. The depression has been met and declared a silly thing, the cough is still fighting my lungs and the leg is slowly, ever slowly healing (I hope - it does feel far better over the last few days than it had), and my back is around 95% at the moment. Being able to type for endless hours again -- and not just at my place of employment -- well, I never knew how much I would miss it.

"And now I'm back/to show you/I can really shake it down..."

In time for the greatest month in the history of months (that would October, you numbskulls), I am ready to hit t…

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #26

The List:
Tou tiao hao han [Fearless Fighters] (1971, FLIX) - 6; Cellular (2004, DVD) - 5; The Forgotten (2004, DVD) - 6; Female Trouble (1974, IFC) - 7; Pon [Phone] (2002, Sundance) - 7; Stagecoach (1939, TCM) - 9; Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep (2006, Sci-Fi) - 4; The Clairvoyant [The Evil Mind] (1934, TCM) - 7; Wonderland (2003, IFC) - 6; Tommy (1975, FLIX) - 5; That'll Be the Day (1973, FLIX) - 6.

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #25

The List:
Spaceballs (1987, TCM) - 6; Die Tausend Augen des Dr. Mabuse [The 1000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse] (1960, DVD) - 6; Pop Gear (1965, FLIX) - 5; Sasquatch [aka The Untold] (2002, Sci-Fi) - 4; Sasquatch Mountain (2006, Sci-Fi) - 5; Sasquatch Hunters (2005, Sci-Fi) - 3; Ripley's Game (2002, IFC) - 7; The Last Unicorn (1982, FLIX) - 6; Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965, FLIX) - 4; Godzilla (1998, FLIX) - 4; Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974, FLIX) - 7; Watership Down (1978, FLIX) - 8; Gamera daikaijû kuchu kessen [Gamera, Defender of the Universe] (1995, FLIX) - 6.

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #24

The List:
Just Imagine (1930, FMC) - 5; Aru kengo no shogai[Samurai Saga] (1959, IFC) - 6; Ibun Sarutobi Sasuke [Samurai Spy] (1965, IFC) - 6; Brick (2005, DVD) - 8; Inside Man (2006, DVD) - 7; The Mask of Zorro (1998, DVD) - 7; Jisatsu Saakuru [Suicide Club] (2002, DVD) - 5; Snakes on a Plane (2006) - 6; H (2002, Sundance) - 6; Jôi-uchi: Hairyô tsuma shimatsu [Samurai Rebellion] (1967, IFC) - 8; 24 Hour Party People (2002, IFC) - 7; Hostel - 6.

RECENTLY RATED MOVIES #23

The List:
Into the Night (1985, Showtime) - 6; Sora no daikaijû Radon [Rodan] (1956, AMC) - 6; Monster (2003, IFC) - 7; Office Space (1999, IFC) - 7; Trapeze (1956, TCM) - 6; Elephant (2003, DVD) - 7; Spider Baby, or The Maddest Story Ever Told (1968, DVD) - 6; The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977, FMC) - 6; Pretty Dead Girl: A Musical Necromance (2004, IFC, short) - 6; Caché (2005, DVD) - 7; The New World (2005, DVD) - 6.

Parallax