Friday, April 25, 2008

Reasons I Am Watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles Even Though I Never Saw the Last Terminator Film and Haven't Given A Rat's Ass in 10 Years #2

And you thought I was going to go all "Lena 'The New Sarah Connor' Headey" on you. ("Not Hedley... Headey.")

No, she's an attractive woman and all, and she has a name rife with promises, but her forehead just isn't quite big enough for me. As I hinted at last time, according to my work pal Luis, I apparently like chicks that could have played Metalluna mutants in This Island Earth. (This is my phrase, actually. I am fairly certain Luis has never seen This Island Earth, nor knew the planet in it -- besides Earth -- was named Metalluna, nor that they had mutants with abnormally huge heads... all he did was mention to me while we were discussing my attraction to her was that "that chick has a huge forehead.") This might explain my sexual attraction to bobbleheads. All I know is that if I could get Summer "River" Glau and Christina Ricci to make out, I would be a very happy man. And if they were both hot robot chicks, even better...

I fought, scratched, clawed, and slept (just a little) through the first season of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and finally realized for good that I really don't give a rat's ass about the time-traveling and the cyborgs taking over the future and the world and whether John Connor was going to survive or whether eventually all of the paradoxes in the storyline where going to create some sort of black hole that was going to suck the whole Fox network into it for good (hopefully only leaving House and The Simpsons behind).

But if it gets renewed for a second season, I am sure I will be there, waiting for sweet, petite Summer Glau to hoist a monstrous gun of some variety into her little hands. Of course, it's weight will initially cause her to stagger backwards, and she will have to use her huge forehead to balance herself...

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The 50 Something or Other Songs of 2017: Part 2

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