waking into a dream journal 01.24.08

this morning's gothic fantasy rapture
northanger abbey
director: jon jones // pbs, masterpiece, 2007

cinema 4 rating: 7


early on in this new version of jane austen's first (but posthumously published novel) on the former masterpiece theatre (yes, i do watch jane austen flicks, and would do so even without jen kind of making me do it. i actually read all of her books growing up, along with those bronte chicks, none of whom (the brontes, i mean, jen can stand), it is said of the just-then-of-age catherine morland by her proud father, "look! our catherine has turned out rather well. she's quite a good-looking girl. why, she's almost pretty today!" -- ahem, i know this plays off the fact that cathy was supposedly rather indistinguished and plain growing up before she blossomed, but you'd think they would have noticed slightly before this point in time -- after all, she is played in the film by felicity jones -- here's the scoop on dear felicity: she is exactly the sort of apple-cheeked, slightly overbitten, supple-lipped, fiery-eyed beauty that has caused me to lose so much sleep, twitter so nervously in anguish and despair, and trundle my heart to the savaged repair shop endless times throughout my torturous existence -- if she perhaps reminds me of someone i once knew, i'll not own up to any form of admittance -- but she might -- so what if it's austen's least complicated or involving storyline, it has felicity carrying me through the story in much the same way that frances o'connor did in the most recent theatrical version of mansfield park: "huh, what? it's over? where did the time go?" -- it's not sleep; it's hypnotism -- i'm sure many of my more testosterone-obsessed pals will take me to task for not being manly about this, and to take the side briefly of the gender of which i have, by rights of nature, supposedly been grandfathered, they are probably right -- it might appear to not be the most manly thing, watching what are considered by the male population at large to be "chick flicks" -- they would maintain i am supposed to get more excited over action films, where guys get all down and dirty, fighting and killing and shooting and acting tough and getting sweaty and gritty -- so, basically, getting right down to it, if you are speaking of being "manly", it's all about popping a boner -- some of you get your kicks from the fighting and killing and shooting and acting tough and getting sweaty, and some of us would rather achieve that same state from 90 minutes spent with an impossibly gorgeous nymphet walking about in a dark castle wearing a flouncy nightdress in a state of fantastical gothic arousal -- so, take your pick, "manly" men -- i'm spending my hour and a half with felicity jones... you can spend yours with john rambo...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Refilling the Flagon of Chuckles (or at Least an Extra Tall Improv Glass)...

Before We Take Off...

The Monster's on the Loose!!! Non-Chaney, Pt. 2: Werewolves Along the Wall

Guillermo Del Toro: At Home with Monsters at LACMA 2016, Pt. 2

Ignoring the Ignoramus...

Parallax