Haunted Gourd-Like Squash or Alien Grey/Human Hybrid? The Curse of Cheez-A

Cheez-A clearly wrestling with his inner demons
Beware the cruel fate, dear visitors, of the one called Cheez-A! He who refuses to don the Bucket of Treating... he who attempts a pun-off where he has a zero-to-none chance of victory... he who refuses to acknowledge his status as the office IT guy. He has dared to attempt to walk the hallowed halls also trod by the illustrious and secret (not so secret) members of the TPCC, and has been found lacking (it all comes back to that bucket thingie I mentioned).

In refusing to don the Bucket of Treating, Cheez-A has upset not only the collective might of the TPCC, but also ventured too close to the Line of Douchebaggery, a line from which there is little hope of returning with one's soul or cool intact. Even upon offering conditions to yours truly which would involve the splattering of a delicious pumpkin pie in my own face, after which he would willingly submit to our demands that he place a stupid plastic Halloween trick-or-treat bucket 'pon his noggin so that we can slap a picture on Facebook, he withdrew his request once I responded swiftly and directly in the affirmative, not knowing of my great desire to engage in any form of pie fight, even against myself. (There's no losing that fight... it's pumpkin pie...)

Cheez-A made an attempt before the pie proposal to placate us with a rather amusing photo of his own creation which supposedly shows his true form (see the photo that opens this post), but we know better. His youth spent roaming the environs of Roswell, New Mexico points to the too obvious truth of his heritage, which we shall refrain from fully mentioning, except in titular form. The other sign that points to the top photo being a forgery lies in the fact that it is virtually impossible for the pumpkin-headed lot to refuse Halloween-related shenanigans, including the donning of stupid plastic jack-o'-lantern buckets.

Here's the gist, Cheez-A. In order to not incur the unceasing wrath by Rampant Trickery of the secret (not so secret) members of the TPCC, you must:

1) Put on the Bucket of Treating (shown below):


2) Allow us to snap your picture. Here are two examples of how simple it can be (subjects unknown):


3) Not whine when we use that picture for our completely innocent but impish desires. This includes just about anything short of blackmail -- we are not evil or assholes. We are just playful.

That's it. Very simple and painless. Failure to do so with cause us to haunt you even worse than we already do.

Put on the stupid bucket, Cheez-A... Think we're annoying now? Just wait...

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