What to Watch, What to Watch...

My plans for the weekend did get switched up quite a bit yesterday morning when the early Saturday double feature I was planning at the Starlight Cinema City Theatres (where they run cheaper than anything pre-noon showings of all films in their lineup) was canceled by torrents of rain. One of the films I had been planning to see was Saw 3D, after catching up with the last three installments in the torture-laden series over the previous few days. Keeping in the Halloween spirit, I was going to follow that up with Paranormal Activity 2, having just seen the first film a couple of weeks back.

But it was not to be. I was already feeling run down from a quite stressful day at work on Friday (in which everything was handled just fine by EOB -- and that doesn't mean Edgar Octopus Burroughs), had some possible follow-up in the a.m., and then the rain hit around 5:30, just as I was setting up plans for the day. The rain was actually a relief since I was feeling so tired, and it became a very easy thing to burrow into the blankets on the couch and knock out a couple of movies.

Knocking out movies is what I tend to do well, and since I last posted my October genre-related choices on October 21, I have added many more films to my roster. Here's the update:

10/21/10        Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl        2009

10/22/10        Black Sheep        2007

10/22/10        Dead Silence        2007

10/22/10        Monster Beach Party A Go Go [aka Stomp! Shout! Scream!]        2005

10/23/10        Silent Scream        1980

10/23/10        Boogens, The        1981

10/23/10        The Hills Have Eyes 2        2007

10/23/10        Darkness Falls        2002

10/24/10        Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film        2006

10/24/10        The Boogeyman        2005

10/24/10        The Boogeyman 2        2007

10/24/10        The Satanic Rites of Dracula [Elvira edition]        1973

10/24/10        Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy        2010

10/24/10        Five Million Years to Earth [aka Quatermass and the Pit]        1967

10/25/10        Resident Evil: Apocalypse        2004

10/25/10        Feast        2005

10/25/10        X the Unknown        1956

10/26/10        Resident Evil: Extinction        2007

10/26/10        Evolution        2001

10/28/10        Saw IV        2007

10/29/10        Saw V        2008

10/29/10        Saw VI        2009

10/29/10        Trail of the Screaming Forehead        2007

10/30/10        Happy Birthday to Me        1980

10/30/10        Frankenstein Created Woman        1967

10/30/10        Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed        1969

10/30/10        Red: Werewolf Hunter        2010

10/31/10        Scared to Death [Elvira edition]        1947

10/31/10        The Haunting of Molly Hartley        2008

10/31/10        The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters        1954

As you can see from many of the choices in the past ten days, one of the themes for me this time was to make my peace with much of the modern horror that I have been avoiding so much over the past decade. This drive is probably going to carry over into November for a couple of weeks, now that my interest has been piqued and there are some films that I definitely want to see while the genre is still holding my full attention. To be sure, it hasn't all been pretty -- there are a lot of films that I would have been better off not seeing -- but one of the pleasures of focusing exclusively in one genre for any length of time is divining that clear line between the sublime (however ridiculous in execution) and the pure dross, the dreck, and the utter crap. 

I am still planning on hitting the Saw 3D/PA2 combo, but next weekend instead. And as I often do at this time of year, I use September and October to fill in some noticeable gaps in my sci-fi/horror DVD collection, not least of which was picking up copies of the Nightmare on Elm Street 8 movie box set, Bigas Luna's mind-warping Anguish, Romero's Day of the Dead, the Night of the Creeps Director's Cut and the Pumpkinhead Collector's Edition, with the film presented in widescreen for the first time, as opposed to the original MGM release in pan-and-scan which made so angry after I bought it. (All pan-and-scan releases are to be considered automatic garbage if there is a widescreen version readily available, and especially if it is just due to studio-driven idiocy.) And I finally did get my copy of Teeth. I figure if I rent a film four times in six months, it is probably time to get my own disc.

So, what to watch for the rest of Halloween? Hard to say... so many choices, so little time. Jen and I are planning to watch at least a chunk of the recent Kids in the Hall mini-series on IFC, which is reported to have some horrific elements (the Grim Reaper is one of the main characters). Jen is not a horror fan in the least, so I have to find shows and movies where I can get her to dip her toes in the chilling waters without totally immersing her in a way in which she would not be happy. The Kids in the Hall help to forge a compromise in that area. Until then, the day is mine. I will likely choose a triple threat of films from the ones shown in the stack in the picture above, all of them purchases I have made in the last couple of months.

Or I might just end up reading some Poe or Lovecraft. After all, it's my day, just as it's all yours wherever you are. The point is to enjoy yourself.

Halloween! ["Happy" adjective only applicable depending on your situational POV...]

Oh, so this is the big thing to which we have been counting down? Anything feel noticeably different now that we are here? Do you feel any different?

Me? I am doing the same thing that I always do, 365-12, 24-7. Halloween might be a date on the calendar to the general public, but for the vast majority involved in this Countdown to Halloween blogroll, our great love for the traditions of the holiday is something we tend to celebrate throughout the entire year.

Speaking for myself, counting down a mere 31 days until a calendar point is actually rather, for lack of a better term, pointless. Not that I haven't had fun concentrating on blogging once again, but being in the Countdown hasn't garnered me one single comment out of the normal few friends that are kind enough to stop by and pay a visit to my too long dormant working notebook. Sure, I can't wait for Halloween to roll around, but chiefly because it convinces people who would normally "tsk, tsk" such obsessions to drop their guard a little bit and let the rest of us fly our freak flags without judgmental commentary. Not that I don't enjoy being given a chance to tell "the general public" to shove their negativity up their collective ass, but it is nice once in a while to hide unnoticed amongst the phonies dressed up for what they consider to be just another holiday.

But I don't feel any different today. There is no power in waking up into a holiday, except that which you have created within your mind. I got up like I normally do on a weekend, watched a movie, wrote a little bit on a short story I started a couple of weeks ago, took a shower, fed the dogs, and saw Jen out the door and off to work. I stacked up a few DVDs of which I have passing interest in viewing today and made some breakfast.

Nothing different, nothing ghostly, and nothing spooky except that which is derived from dwelling within the atmosphere I myself created within the apartment for the holiday. A lot of monster toys, some minor decorative effects and glowing devices, and a grinning, big-eyed, triple-fanged lit pumpkin. Perhaps there will be trick-or-treaters knocking on my door today; perhaps not. I will not be attending any parties or performances. I am going to just spend a quiet, relaxing day doing what Michael Scott on The Office, in what might be the most brilliant line recently written about October 31, suggested: "Halloween should be a day where we honor monsters and not be mad at each other." 

Agreed...

Random Abode Spookage & Monsters #7: Inactive Model Division

As a child, I made models by the dozens. Always had something being glued together... cars, jet fighters, dinosaurs, monsters. It wasn't that I really loved doing it, but every month or so, I would convince one of my parents to purchase one or two new model kits for me. Suddenly, I found myself putting together some tank battle set or T. Rex, but the truth is that I was never very good at it.

To me, it was always like putting together any other puzzle, like a jigsaw, but you don't have to glue jigsaws. Well, some people do, but that has always seemed silly to me.  Model-wise, I was sloppy. I never had the patience needed to build one to perfection. I hated the smell of the glue, I hated getting it on my fingers, but my real downfall was in the painting. Zero skill with the brush and too many other things to do not to rush the job. I would begin to paint, something would drip no matter how careful I was, and I would see other models that master builders would do and it would drive me crazy. Why can't I do it that way? Why do I always end up with blobs of glue at all of the critical seams and joints? Honestly, I had never considered sandpaper at that age, but as I said, it was more about having the model rather than completing it, so I never ventured too deep into gathering tips about doing them better. Mine was a cursory interest; my real love at that time was baseball cards, and the modeling thing was probably just a way of getting my parents to buy me more stuff.

Eventually, I wearied of the hobby, but to this day, I still have a soft spot for the idea of model building. Like most hobbies, deep down it's merely a silly and addictive time-filler, but also lovely when done right. It was with just such an attitude that I forged through life, and when the time came that I had mad money to burn, I would go back to trying out model building. But a twist came with my new purchases in adulthood: I never actually built them. I have a handful of kits that I have bought over the intervening years between childhood and now -- mostly monsters -- but the fear of screwing up a paint job to the point where I would cause physical destruction to my surroundings in my frustration always loomed too large for me to get over it. Which is where the appeal action figures laid for me. They were already finished, they came with swell accessories, and best of all, unlike most models, you could play with them.

I have gone onto a couple of model boards recently and read some of the disdain for Tsukuda's officially licensed horror/sci-fi model kits of the late '80s and early '90s. Large, vinyl kits of the sort to which I never had access as a kid. As a monster nut, when these were released, I was naturally drawn to them. Bosco's, the only real game in town as regards comics and collectibles in Anchorage, Alaska (and home base to many of my very good friends -- and my little brother -- at one point or another), sold these kits pretty regularly in those days. I would stare at them up on those higher shelves in the store every time that went in (which was then about three or four times a week), but the price tag of roughly $50 a shot gave me pause.

Finally, after mentioning it briefly to my then-spouse, she surprised me at my birthday with the Frankenstein kit, based on the Jack Pierce-designed Karloff makeup of the original Universal film. Awkwardly titled "A Monster of Dr. Frankenstein," Tsukuda Hobby Jumbo Figure Series No. 38 may have its drawbacks according to finicky, nit-picking hobbyists, but to me it has always proved to be a daunting figure of horrific beauty. Once again, though I was happy to own the damnable monster, my fear of totally screwing up the paint job meant that I was doomed to let him lie in his giant cardboard coffin for the next 20-plus years.

Every few years, I would pull him out of the box again, snap his limbs and hands into place (he is meant to have some articulation points) and stare intently at what I had always felt was a pretty accurate sculpt (though apparently, I am so wrong), and muse about the purchase of new paints and brushes. And then, after a few days of display on my dining room table which was meant to provide the impetus for my to actually complete my monster, he would end up back in the box and back up on a shelf in my game closet. I couldn't make the leap.

However, finally owning the Monster kit opened up the floodgates just enough where I was determined to get the other Universal monster available at the store, Tsukuda Hobby Jumbo Figure Series No. 39, "Mummy Man." I had my eyes on the Tsukuda King Kong model as well, but it ran for $100 at the time, and so I opted for the half as costly Mummy figure, with the intention of saving up for Kong (which never happened). This model seems to be based on the Kharis figure from the later Universal series, not the 1932 Karl Freund classic with Karloff as Imhotep. It didn't mean anything to me when I bought it, however; the main thing was that I had a Universal model kit. A kit which I stared at a lot. A kit which I would think about completing. A kit which never got painted.

And so now the monsters and I live thousands of miles from where we started, and we are now at this juncture where I have them up and out of their boxes on our apartment's dining room table. There is a lot of staring going on as I think about what is involved in bringing these creatures fully to life. I have been looking up paint colors online and reading hobbyist tips and tricks. But I have also begun to feel the eventual frustration looming in the near distance.

It's enough to make you quit while you are still behind...

Attack of the Seriously Slutty Princesses: The Disney Halloween Party 2010

Honestly, for the first hour or so at the Disney Halloween Party at Disneyland Tuesday night, I didn't even really notice the costumes. Sure, I did mention to Jen the astounding amount of younger kids I saw dressed as one of the Super Mario Bros. (and even at least four people dressed as mushrooms from the games), and I also pointed out a couple of truly cool costumes here and there. But in noticing the usual feast/horror for the eyes that comes with younger women dressed, body-appropriate or otherwise (and it is more than often that "otherwise," hence the horror side of the equation) in too tight or absolutely revealing Halloween costumes of their favorite characters, I was very negligent.

But Jen wasn't (and she didn't believe me that I hadn't noticed, but I indeed hadn't). She was the one quickest to point out (or at least smirk) when some particularly slutty version of Alice in Wonderland or Pocahontas swung into view. It was at the exact moment when I mentioned I hadn't really seen all that much in the way of rampant sluttiness, or at least a handy amount of décolletage, that the gates burst open. As this is not that sort of site, I have nothing in the way of visual proof of the onslaught that then took place over the next three hours, but suffice to say that we had several hours worth of decent chuckles in watching the series of bastardizations of character designs into handy excuses to either increase the population of Orange County or to put you off your food. The best part was a particularly hurried Cinderella who actually began to fall out of her dress. This shocked even the great Carnak...

Jen and I were mainly there for the atmosphere and the fireworks, but there is a note to make regarding the attractions (i.e., the rides, in Disney parlance). The big secret about attending the Disney Halloween Party is that you can pretty much walk on and off even the mega-popular rides like Indiana Jones and Space Mountain because almost every kid in the place is concentrating on standing in line for candy, which frankly, is the opposite way to trick-or-treat. There should be effort put into it. Patrons of the event stand in endless lines throughout the park to receive their treats, and as far as we are concerned, they can have it.

As a result, in the first 75 minutes we were there, we had already ridden Indy, the Haunted Mansion, the Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Space Mountain (the Ghost Galaxy version for Halloween), and this was with a bathroom stop, a soda purchase, and a very relaxed gait, enjoying the  mood of the park. The longest line was Space Mountain, and that was a mere ten minutes, as promised on the gate sign (possibly the first time the wait announcement ever actually matched that which actually occurred on that attraction).

I will say this now, and it will come as a shock to my friends who know how thoroughly I love The Nightmare Before Christmas, but I am tired of the annual reworking of the Haunted Mansion into its holiday form featuring Jack and his pals. The truth is, I wish they would start up the Nightmare version just after Halloween (you know, the way the movie starts), and let us have the real Mansion back for the actual month containing Halloween. It's not that I don't enjoy the Jack house (I actually do love it), but one of my fondest park memories was a full on Halloween midnight ride a few years back, and now I can't get even close to matching that feeling with the outright whimsy of Burton's creations overriding the place.

And the fireworks? A massively cool success... Zero flying through the air behind the castle, animation of a giant Jack Skellington on a balloon hanging over the proceedings, and the discovery of some new aerial tricks in Disney's ever-expanding fireworks bag. I thought there would be more concentration on the Mansion itself, but they managed to work in a lot of more obscure references even with the overall Jack theme. (A side note: it was also neat to see ol' Clara Cluck at the rear of the Halloween Parade. I wondered how many of the guests actually know who she is.) I shot some video of the first couple of minutes of the fireworks, but as it was on my crappy phone, I am not too happy with the results.

But we were quite happy with our evening out at the Disney Halloween Party. The fireworks alone made it worthwhile, and for us, the price wasn't bad (Jen's status at the park got us tix for $35 apiece). And it is truly amazing to ride Indy and Pirates back to back and not run into a single kid or teenager. That alone was a magic trick worthy of the Disney name.

It's Alive! Freshly Carved and Ready for Action This Weekend...

While I have yet to light the candle that will bring him to life, here is why I did not write very much this evening (apart from watching three Halloween specials, two Halloween episodes of NBC comedy series, and Saw IV).

The best part was having the pups convince themselves they were helping me the whole time, especially Isabelle. We are pretty sure that she just thinks a pumpkin is just a larger version of her favorite thing on the planet -- a carrot, also orange -- and she spent much of the evening trying to snarf up every little shred that got flung about the place whilst I carved.

Tomorrow? Pumpkin #2...

Son o' the Return o' the Comic o' the Jack-O'-Lantern Undead...

My beloved and I attended the Disney Halloween Party (with awesome fireworks) last night, but a massive headache and a serious lack of sleep the last couple of days have eaten away at my time to put up a decent post about it this evening.

In lieu of such a post, I am cheating a bit for the second night in a row in this Countdown to Halloween (last night was a mere picture of a slice of my dining table full of monster toy sets, with only text in the title, so it was a real cheat). This is a comic page that was drawn on a camping trip last August by my brothers Mark and Chris, for which I provided the dialogue.

The twist here is that the comic page is absolutely improvisational, a massive derivation of the surrealist drawing game called Exquisite Corpse, where artists draw unconnected and unseen images on their own half (or quarters if there are more than two artists participating) of a folded piece of paper, and when it is revealed, the two separate images forge what is hoped to be a rather remarkable single image. We adapted it to where either I would write the dialogue (being currently uncomfortable with my art skills, unlike the olden days) in the first panel, and then one of the brothers would draw the first and then the next panel, and then I would fill in the dialogue for the art in the second panel and then start the third, and so on... or it could start with art in the first panel, dialogue in the first and second, and so it goes forward until completion. Get it? Got it. Good.

The reason I am rerunning this particular comic page is that it is entirely Halloween-based, being all pumpkin riddled and whatnot. Murderous Jack-O'-Lanterns make for delicious fun as far as I am concerned. If you want to see what I originally wrote about this comic, visit my post about it at http://cinema4pylon.blogspot.com/2009/08/comics-on-road-to-nowhere-pt-4-of-11.html. 

Enjoy!

Got a Party to Go to...

Cousin Huet and Brother Dave... Not So Much Resting, but Having a Peaceable Time

When Jen surprised me with these for my birthday about three years ago or so, I didn't realize that I even wanted them. I didn't even know they existed, so therefore I never had a craving to own them. But there they were, heavy and bulky and surrounded by that annoying Styrofoam shell-casing that shreds as you pull them out of the packaging so that it gets all over your floor, so that you keep discovered minute white, foam pellets for the next three years every time you look down.

I had never known that I wanted them, but I am sure glad they are here now. It turns out they were one of the most unique and cool surprise presents I have received since a certain someone scored me an eighteen foot that lit up with "LIBRARY" in giant, two-foot-high block letters (and that only weighed about 250 pounds). Storage is impossible, since the foam shredded so much, so they now stay relatively out in the open for most of the year. I just make them a little more prominent come Halloween time. And now I can't have a holiday without 'em.

Goooood Eeev-en-ing...!

Frequent visitors to my old abode in Anchorage -- the Ink 'n' Paint Club -- were no doubt familiar with the other human-like figure who dominated a corner of my dining room (which was only ever used for dining about a half dozen times) for roughly fifteen years: that of Alfred Hitchcock, albeit in spooky cardboard stand-up form.

I had acquired him as a video buyer for the old Book Cache chain of stores in the mid-1980s, when the four Hitchcock films that had been purchased back from Paramount by Universal following Hitch's estate being settled in 1983 (he died in 1980) were finally released on VHS. We ordered several floor displays for the stores, but space being a premium in most of our then 20 locations, not all of the Hitchcock standees made it out of our building. I say space being a premium was the reason, but the real reason is that I and a couple of the bosses wanted them for ourselves. And so it was...

But Hitch, since leaving Alaska, hadn't made it back to an upright position until this very day. As part of my constant Halloween unpacking and decorating (going on three weekends now), I finally made an attempt to repair one of his bracing supports in the back and Super-Gluing his midsection back together. (He also received a nice washing and dusting as well.)

Not 100%, but he's as fit as a deceased 111-year-old director on 27-year old cardboard can be, given the circumstances. I just have to remember to not jump the next time I come home and turn the corner into the den, where he is now residing behind our desk. It actually took me a couple years when I first had him not to do that, and every once in a while, when my guard was down, he would catch me unawares again.

I have no doubt his "Master of Suspense" title probably precedes him -- even in cardboard -- no matter where he is placed, but this is ridiculous....

Random Abode Monsters & Spookage #6: Monsters from the Universal Backlog, Pt. 2

I've been rethinking that head transplant deal the Doctor offered...

If you are going to do a Google search for the following words all at once: "Frankenstein's," "monster" and "squirter," don't be surprised by what you get in reply. The results will be a little light on the Frankenstein's monster part, and more than a little heavy (or should I say "drenched") with the third word (and I will not explain beyond that...)

Yet another product of the 1991 Universal wave of monster production, these are actually pretty swell items standing about four inches high and that will get you a pretty decent 25-foot squirt if squeezed properly. I don't know how I kept ending up with just the Frankenstein Monster and the Wolfman in some of these items, but that's how it worked out. I pretty much just grabbed whatever was available at that store, and it seemed to come up Monster and Wolfman over and over again. (As always, if I had found the Creature instead, he would have been first...)

Head-istic: Blechhs vs. Severed

Random Abode Monsters & Spookage #5: Monsters from the Universal Backlog, Pt. 1

Not a lot of time tonight. Two movies I need to cram in now since I have to write a piece for work in the morning (and hopefully not much beyond that). Can't miss the mail pickup in the late a.m.; otherwise I won't maximize my Netflix rentals before Halloween.

So, here is what you get tonight: a couple of official Universal Monster sliding puzzles, copyrighted 1991. Universal had a big push on their famous creations that year. I remember Doritos stickers, soda box designs, and a vast array of toys, some decent and some, like these puzzles, really annoying to use.

Here's a tip next time you think about making a sliding puzzle game. Slightly round the corners of your pieces in order to ease the user's ability to slide from slot to slot. These puzzles are swell to have, but man, I hate using them. It's the one time I would think about joining the villagers...

All Flicks Bright and Shiny, All Films Timeworn and Used...

Heading into the last two weekends of the Halloween season proper (I say proper because I tend to extend the holiday up until right before Thanksgiving), I am scrambling to line up appropriate movies in my Netflix cue and am scrounging On Demand for any films I simply have to cram in for a viewing in time for the big day.

My theme this year was to catch up on a lot of films from the past few years that I have either largely avoided or just didn't have the drive to go see when they came out. So many of these films are remakes of films I love too deeply in their original form to give the new versions a chance or they were overly hyped productions of the sort that always make me wary of dropping serious coin to risk seeing them. And some, like the odd Trick 'r Treat, was something about which I had not heard very much, negative or positive, so the result was a very pleasant and often scary surprise.

I've been trying hard not to revisit old favorites this year, but I am sure that as I edge closer to Halloween, that instinct will kick in and I will begin dragging out the usual suspects. I've been trying to ease myself out of that mode by watching a handful of films that I have not seen for eons, such as Something Wicked This Way Comes, Alone in the Dark or the Rankin-Bass giant killer sea turtle and ghostly girl TV flick from the '70s, The Bermuda Depths (which I purchased online from the Warner Archives). Overall, I have only previously seen 6 of the 33 genre films that I have watched since October 1st (Halloween for me allows sci-fi into the mix, and I am also counting films with slight horrific elements into it as well, such as Scorsese's horror-tinged atmospheric Shutter Island and also that ultimate desecration of our revered horror archetypes, New Moon (yes, I did go there. I consider myself a chronicler of horror trends, and if asked, I would have to answer that where Stephenie Meyer is concerned, I am a founding member of Team Death Sentence).

Apart from the surprise of Trick 'r Treat and the thoroughness and excellence of the Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown doc, my favorite discovery thus far this Halloween was finally seeing the British/Italian zombie flick, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. Seen pictures from it for so many years, but finally got down to seeing it. Catching these films is precisely the reason why I chose to concentrate on unseen films this year: I needed some new blood, whether from films new or old. As long as I have a good time watching them.

Genre films seen since October 1st:

10/01/10    Bermuda Depths, The    1978
10/02/10    Halloween II    2009
10/02/10    Them [Ils]    2006
10/03/10    Trauma    1993
10/03/10    Red Hook    2009
10/04/10    Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown    2008
10/05/10    Death Bed: The Bed That Eats    1977
10/06/10    Let Sleeping Corpses Lie [aka Don't Open the Window] [Non si deve profanare il sonno dei morti]    1974
10/06/10    Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural    1973
10/07/10    Twilight Saga: New Moon, The    2009
10/08/10    Devil's Bride, The [aka The Devil Rides Out]    1968
10/09/10    Slash    2002
10/09/10    Monsterwolf    2010
10/09/10    Day the Earth Stood Still, The    2008
10/12/10    Trick 'r Treat    2007
10/13/10    Invasion, The    2007
10/13/10    Paranormal Activity    2007
10/14/10    Vampire Circus    1972
10/14/10    Underworld: Evolution    2006
10/15/10    30 Days of Night    2007
10/15/10    Crazies, The    2010
10/16/10    Shutter Island    2010
10/16/10    Something Wicked This Way Comes    1982
10/16/10    My Soul to Take 3D    2010
10/17/10    Brain That Wouldn't Die, The (Elvira’s Movie Macabre)    1960
10/17/10    Reptile, The    1966
10/17/10    Staunton Hill    2009
10/17/10    Mummy's Shroud, The    1967
10/18/10    Blood from the Mummy's Tomb    1971
10/19/10    Zombie Strippers    2008
10/19/10    Doomsday    2008
10/19/10    Friday the 13th    2009
10/20/10    Alone in the Dark    1982

Random Abode Monsters & Spookage #4: Fuzzy Pun'kins & Bats That Can't Turn Left

I can haz twick o' tweet?

It's almost like being on CuteOverload.com, but with happy Halloween stuffed toys instead of kittens and puppies in costume!

All of these guys were presents over the years from various friends, except for the squished-looking little pumpkin, who might be the cutest stuffed toy I have ever seen. (Seriously, get to know him...)

 

In a way, they almost look like Sifl & Olly, pumpkin-style...

"Why is it always, always so costly for man to move from the present to the future?"

The answer to the question in the title above is "Because mankind is generally composed of ignorant dickheads."

Halloween for me isn't so much about the scares than it is about the monsters. People frighten me in real life far more than imaginary creatures from our mythological systems or Hollywood-style dream machines. They can be the revenge-driven undead and they can be sci-fi aliens; they can come from the ocean, the forest, underground, or they can come from outer space; they can be 500 feet tall or they can be squirmy little worm-like creatures... as long as they irrationally but rightly seek to devour or destroy mankind and his works. (Or be our pals, but that rarely happens... though it might fall into the "mating with our women" category...)

It would be somewhere close to this time of year that I first discovered this Ray Harryhausen treat:

 

It will undoubtedly not end well for the poor Ymir, but that's how these things go. You just have to enjoy his rampage while it lasts... 

The Sideshow is Almost Always Better Than the Circus...

As I detailed a few posts ago, I recently spent a solid weekend going back through boxes and boxes of my collected Halloween memorabilia and horror toys, having a completely grand time getting reacquainted with old pals and favorite treasures.

Chief amongst these objects was my collection of the official Universal Monsters figures that Sideshow Collectibles began putting out around 2001, I believe (don't correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't care).  I had suffered through any number of half-assed Universal collectibles up to that point in time, but when Sideshow started releasing these 8-inch masterpieces back then... well, I don't remember actually weeping at their utter perfection, but let's say it would have been appropriate if I had done just that.

Since I am really bad at being a completist -- the lack of my own vehicle and the fact that, yet again, I just really don't care really plays into that status -- means that I didn't quite get them all. I did get one of each of the characters from the first four series -- a dozen figures in all, though three of them -- Frankenstein's Monster, The Bride of Frankenstein and The Creature from the Black Lagoon -- ended up being the Silver Screen Editions. (In other words, they are in black and white, which is honestly how I would have preferred all of them to be.) I also managed to grab the glow-in-the-dark figure of The Creature, who has graced my desk at home ever since.

Fantastic sculpts, great choice of props for the majority of the characters (they could have done more with the Metalluna Mutant considering they gave one of the Mole People a big bag full of mushrooms), and clever little stand-up sets, I much prefer these to the 12-inch versions Sideshow eventually released. The sad part is that I never knew about the far more limited in production Series 5, which consisted of The Phantom of the Opera in his Red Death costume, Lugosi as Ygor in Son of Frankenstein, and the figure I was most anticipating, Lugosi's Dracula. (Can somebody say "negotiations with Lugosi's estate"?)

Now my only choice cost-wise is to jump to the 12-inch versions, since the ones I missed are way too spendy for my wallet. Or I can just follow the latest trend of mine of not purchasing action figures anymore (which pretty much started once I moved back into domestic bliss in California). Either way, I have my 8-inch Sideshow line to tide me over, their perfection gracing the hallowed halls of the Cinema 4 Pylon, at least until we decide to decorate for Xmas.

[Note: The figures in the pictures above are joined by their corresponding Silver Screen Edition figures from Sideshow's Universal Monsters Little Big Heads line. More on that set later...]

The Boogieman's Day Out (and Its Immediate and Future Consequences)

I had meant to spend a lot more time writing this weekend, honest. I had been hoping to carve out a couple of days where I just dig deep into a subject or two and create something at least halfway worthwhile for the Pylon. But, you know how it goes... the Halloween spirit is in the air, Jen suggested that we go see Red (or is it actually RED? It is meant to be an acronym.) after she got off work, and I immediately thought, "I could also go see a horror movie before she gets off work!"

Which is what I did yesterday, and the rest of my weekend plans went to hell. Today I have had no drive to finish my Halloween decorating, carve the pumpkin that has been sitting on my table for over a week, do the dishes, knock out a couple of short pieces for work (we are wrapping up our latest soccer magazine, for which I am the associate editor and main writer), clean up a bit around the apartment... and write. I barely have enough resolve this day to pen these scant few  paragraphs.

I let the pressure of what I planned to have done by this evening get to me, I get despondent, and I just melted into the couch today and watched movie after movie (four and one-half to be exact).  This in itself is ultimately not a bad thing, as I will likely end up writing about many of the films that I have watched today. Rather, I will intend to write about many of these films. This is the problem: my intentions versus my end results. The ratio of post ideas to finished product had actually stayed quite steady through the first three years I wrote on the Pylon. I was a firebrand, and I could not stop myself from writing if I tried. With the reversal of the past two, almost three, years, that ratio has dwindled to near nothingness.

As the Posies sing, "There HAS to be an upside," and there is in this case. My day out set up at least three posts for the coming week. The horror film in which I chose to indulge was Wes Craven's return to horror directing, My Soul to Take, and I had no choice but to see it in 3-D. I also had no choice as it was the only horror film showing at the theatres in Downtown Disney, where I was to meet Jen for Red (RED), so if I wanted to see a horror film on this day out, this was going to be it. Everything about going to this film ending up pissing me off to the extreme, so the only happy result is that I will get to vent on it later this week.

Before the films, though, I visited the Compass Books shop next to the theatres with the intent to grab a couple of horror-related books and toys, and maybe some comic collections if I felt like it. No go on the comics (don't you bring your "graphic novel" talk around here, whiners) -- there was nothing that really grabbed me, but I did pick up a couple of interesting volumes, upon which I will likely expound once I have read through them.

The book that caught my eye yesterday wasn't in the shop when I last visited a few weeks back: Night of the Living Dead: Behind the Scenes of the Most Terrifying Zombie Movie Ever by Joe Kane aka The Phantom of the Movies. (Ugh...) I have another book by Kane, The Phantom's Ultimate Video Guide (released in 1989), which for me was neither Ultimate nor much of a Guide, and has been largely used through the years to merely prop up whatever books are on the shelf to the left and right of it. (To be fair, I probably should revisit his Guide, but it truly has held little influence over me since I first bought it.) His Dead book comes with the complete original screenplay by John Russo, and since every party involved with the first great modern zombie flick has bickered over the years about rights and the various myths surrounding the production, I am going to wait until I have read the damned thing until I try and surmise just what Russo's involvement entails.

The other book I grabbed, which did catch my eye on that previous visit, is a sharp, gruesome-looking, glossy product called Horror Movie Freak by Don Sumner. I have already begun perusing this photo-loaded volume, and while I don't wish to spoil that which I am going to write about soon, but I am surprised by how much this book is hacking me off so far. Yeah, for horror fans, who are naturally inclined to emulate the tendencies of ravens, it's bright and shiny and makes you want to grab it in your beak and fly home to devour it. And Sumner does go to great lengths to try to qualm the immediate fears of horror freaks (his term, used endlessly throughout the book) who might be missing some of their favorites from his lists and categories. The problem is their logic for not including certain things and excluding others backtracks on itself time and again. It's nicely put together, though, and real purty for a book chock full of gore. Probably blows up real good, too...

As I said, more on all of this later in the week and beyond as we move closer to Halloween. For now, I am going to back to sulking and fretting in the dark...

Flickchart Comment #28: I Tentacoli [Tentacles] (1977) vs. Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

The theme with this match-up seems to be one of rising, the well-known to be thoroughly "Abominable" Dr. Phibes literally doing so even in the title for the sequel to his far-superior first effort. On the other side, you have the hamhandedly filmed antics of a massive octopus rising to the surface to wreak havoc upon landlubbers in the Italian Jaws-ripoff I Tentacoli (known to Americans, especially those of us unfortunate enough to catch this as part of a double feature onscreen back in the day, as Tentacles).

All that rising to very little effect. If you like a lot of murkily shot underwater cinematography, then Tentacles is your octopus. Double bonus if you want to watch a lot of Hollywood stars -- Henry Fonda, Shelly Winters, John Huston -- slumming it up big time in what I hope was a decent payday for all of them. Winters' abrasive voice does its usual number on me (i.e. making me want to not hear her at all), and the fact that she and Huston play "Ned and Tillie Turner" just makes me want to gag all the more. And who leaves a baby carriage unattended by the ocean, let alone anywhere? (Well, I would, but I hate babies in general... actually, it's baby culture that I hate.) Killer whales are the heroes here, and if you watch this film back-to-back-to-back with Jaws 2 and Orca, your head might explode.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes was great fun, and I return to it time and again, but I have never been able to whip up quite the same passion for its sequel, Dr. Phibes Rises Again. Yes, the revenge-driven doctor indeed comes back to commit a string of murders (this time with an Egyptian theme) as in the first, all the while attempting to resurrect his dead wife. And there are some decently strange scenes, gratuitous Robert Quarry acting, and an intriguing ending. Vincent Price, as always, is a fabulous presence (especially in his unmasked and scarred Phibes makeup), but following the first one, this one pales just enough for me to consider it a rather generic entry.

It's miles better than Tentacles, though, with the camp factor of Phibes defeating the sleaze factor of the Italian film handily. Maybe even "ham"-handily...

Random Abode Monsters and Spookage #3

Almost Gojira. Almost the Creature. Just a little too wound up, that's all. Old pals that I have had for just about forever.

Flickchart Comment #27: Trog (1970) vs. The Beast With A Million Eyes (1955)

You see, this is exactly what Flickchart is all about. Just the other day, I posted a comment wherein I chose Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive, an fairly famous awful film, over Trog with Joan Crawford, which I found to be just a tad more awful than the atrocious King film. But every Trog can have its day on Flickchart. All you have to do is see that more terrible film of the two matched up against something which is truly dreadful.

Which is where we are with this match-up. Trog may suck beyond belief, but it at least has a handful of interesting scenes along the road to Crapville. The Beast with a Million Eyes, which betrays nothing of its true nature in the poster you see above, as there is no actual visible beast with all those eyes, might be considered the Chinese Water Torture of '50s sci-fi films. It is so deadening in its pace that you sometimes swear the DVD is on pause for a full hour. It will disappoint you at every turn, and it will make you wonder just how someone can create a script so utterly lacking in even the most basic logic or even make a halfway attempt at what might be recognized as an actual human emotion. (I didn't even mention how much the sound sucks on this film.)

Trog, despite how lousy you are, this battle is yours...

FEED ME!!!! Redux

Longtime Alaskan pals of mine will immediately recognize the puppet above as Audrey III, who not only was used in a costume contest about 20 years ago, but also took part in various dirty puppet shows over the years at the Three Barons Faire in Anchorage. As for that costume contest, my attempt to portray myself and Audrey III as the Rick Moranis version of Seymour Krelborn and Audrey II from the 1986 musical film of Little Shop of Horrors was only slightly brought down by the fact that a couple of votes for us were actually for "Buddy Holly carrying a plant." Fucking idiots...

I spent a large proportion of time this weekend finally digging into my many boxes of various and sundry Halloween folderol, practically taking up most of Saturday sorting through items at which I had not given five seconds glance over the five-plus years I have been in California. Dozens of monster action figures, playsets, cars, decorative objects... you name it, it's there. After a half-decade of only carving a pumpkin or three and watching a lot of horror movies, I decided to take back a little bit of Halloween for myself (hence my joining the Countdown to Halloween cycle of blogs celebrating the holiday). Along with this came the task of finding a few small items that I could sneak into the workplace so I could Halloweenize my office a tad.

Audrey III with new pals Forever Yeti and Googly Vern

Gojira and King Kong are always present in my office, but what I really needed in the place to give it some class was a plant. But not a real one... no, no, no! I have already killed (astonishingly enough) two bamboo plants in the past year, so my thumb is really more of an "amber alert" for the plant world than green in any measure. Then I was reunited with Audrey III, and I immediately knew that she was going to have to grace the bookshelf in my cramped little office. Besides, she requires no actual food nor water, just imaginary blood (or so I have been led to believe).

She is really a fantastically designed puppet, and even comes with a velcro tongue to which a fat little fly accessory can be attached. The top of her trap accommodates the four fingers of your hand, and has individual pockets so she doesn't operate as a simple open-and-close style hand puppet. You can get some interesting expression out of her at times.

I couldn't believe how much I missed having Audrey III out in public, but she is definitely back to stay as long as she decides to stick around.

Audrey III messin' with Gojira